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| Sunday, March 11th, 2007 | | 4:06 am |
The Everything Test There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all. Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-) | Personality | You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more atheist than religious, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.
As for specific personality traits, you are intellectual (87%), religious (80%), horny (75%), romantic (57%). | | | Stereotypes | | College Student | 75% | | Punk Rock | 60% | | White Trash | 55% | | | | Life Experience | | Sex | 27% | | Substances | 14% | | Travel | 17% | | Politics
Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 41% of the time. | | Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 88% less than the U.S. average.
| If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG.
By the way, your hottness rank is 52%, hotter than 75% of other test takers. | TAKE THE TEST brought to you by thatsurveysite Well this test gets some things right, but other things are way off... Current Mood:  cynical | | Sunday, November 12th, 2006 | | 7:07 am |
So I saw a t-shirt with the following comment "I spit on your bible and I piss on your crucifix." Are they just trying to pick fights with people? Comments? Current Mood: cynical | | Thursday, August 17th, 2006 | | 5:15 pm |
Things I almost got in a Fight with
The following are a list of things, in order, that I almost got in a fight with during a 5 minute walk behind my house. Cat (my own) Hardcore Lesbien Feminist complete with shaved head and cigarette Cat (unknown origins) Family of Chipmunks Large Blue Crane (as in the bird dummy) Raccoon Fat man driving a Red Volkswagon Bug Flock of Doves Woodchuck 2 foot wide Snapping Turtle Crazy Lost Black Lady who thought there was a TJ Max somewhere behind my house Old Woman complete with cane from the Historical House Cat (my other one) It hard to intimidate so many things in so short a time period. Current Mood: cynical | | Saturday, June 24th, 2006 | | 2:40 am |
| | Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006 | | 3:29 am |
| | Monday, May 15th, 2006 | | 5:29 am |
Thief!
Zomgz me stealing an online survey from Jamie. It's like bizarro world. Well bizarro hello (10 points for show reference)... How Perfect is Your Life? [X] You know someone that cares about you. [ ] You've had a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiancee/ husband/ wife. [X] You have your own room. [X] You own a cell phone. [X] You get good grades. [ ] You have an ipod/ mp3 player. [X] Your parents are still married. [ ] You have more than 2 best friends. [ ] There is a swimming pool in your backyard. [X] You live in a house. T O T A L: 6 [X] You dress how you want to. [X] You hang out with friends more than once a week. [X] There is a computer/ laptop in your room. [ ] You have never been beaten up. [X] You never cry more than twice a month. [X] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to. [ ] Your room is big enough for you. [X] People don't use you for something you have. [ ] You have been to a concert. [X] You laugh more than twice a day. T O T A L: 7 [ ] You have over 100 friends on myspace. [ ] You have pictures on myspace. [X] You get allowance. [X] You collect something normal. [ ] People don't make fun of you to be mean. [ ] You look foward to go to school. [ ] You don't wish you were someone else. [ ] You play a sport. [X] You do something after school. [ ] You shower daily T O T A L: 3 [X] You own a car. [X] You usually don't fight with your parents. [X] You're healthy. [X] You've never had a cavity. [ ] You are happy with your appearance. [ ] You aren't self-consious at all. [X] You have never got a failing grade in your life. [X] You have friends. [X] You have so many inside jokes with friends. [X] You know your parents care and love you. T O T A L: 8 [ ] You know what is going on in the world. [ ] You care about sooo many people. [X] You are happy with your life. [X] You usually aren't sick. [X] You know more than one language. [X] You have a screen name. [X] You own a pet. [ ] You know the words to more than 5 songs. [ ] You don't have any enemies. [X] You are happy where you're living. T O T A L: 6 GRAND TOTAL: 30 x 2 = 60% Now count up the number and multiply by 2. Then repost saying 'My life is __% perfect Man now that I read through this it seems as if this is the % emo perfect your life is... Current Mood: cynical | | Thursday, April 6th, 2006 | | 1:35 am |
Oh My Gawd
Michael Jackson was just on Conan O'Brien and was giving him golden showers. I wish I was making that last sentence up... Current Mood: cynical | | Tuesday, March 14th, 2006 | | 10:55 pm |
We Have Ways of Making You Talk....
Der Kommandant
Achtung! You are 38% brainwashworthy, 45% antitolerant, and 85% blindly patriotic |
Opportunistic, patriotic to a fault, and not so fond of people who aren't just like you, you are like a Nazi General. Back in Germany in the 1940's, you would have been at the top of the asshole list. Not for Nazism, necessarily, but for your own sick, twisted values. Then, out of superior intelligence (relative to other Nazis, that is), you would've climbed to the top.
Conclusion: you would have been a Nazi, and most likely would have served them well.
- new test, it rules, take it -
The Terrorism Test
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My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 46% on brainwashworthy |
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You scored higher than 72% on antitolerant |
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You scored higher than 94% on patriotic |
| Current Mood: cynical | | Friday, March 10th, 2006 | | 12:55 pm |
Edge of Too-muchery
the Cutting Edge
(57% dark, 46% spontaneous, 36% vulgar) |
your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK
Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.
Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi
The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -
If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test |
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My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 64% on darkness |
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You scored higher than 51% on spontaneity |
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You scored higher than 46% on vulgarity |
| Current Mood: cynical | | Thursday, March 2nd, 2006 | | 1:06 pm |
Damn Matt and his tagging
Four jobs I've had in my life: *Tech 1 at Laptop Services Babson College *Media Services Technician at Babson College *Sales/Customer support for www.griffinrun.com *Head Aquatic Engineer for High School Football team Four movies I can watch over and over: *Usual Suspects *The movie I have of Walsh sleeping *any Patriots super bowl dvd *High School Theology movie (1 not 2) Four place I have lived: *Waltham, MA *Lowell, MA *Mashpee, MA *Bolton, MA Four TV shows I love to watch: *House *Aqua Teen Hunger Force *Family Guy *24 Four places I have been on vacation: *Tampa, FL *Cape Cod *Gettysburg *Washington, DC Four of my favorite dishes: *strawberry, orange, banana smoothie *Onion Soup *Fear *Babies Four websites I visit daily: *ytmnd.com *midnight-guild.org *espn.com *maddox.xmission.com Four places I would rather be right now: *Tent O Love *Azeroth *The Inner Sphere *Right Behind You Four bloggers I am tagging: JoeyO, Spellman (big), Spellman (little), Duffman Current Mood: cynical | | Sunday, February 19th, 2006 | | 6:00 am |
Damn my sexy knees. And my innocence is how I lure them all in... Current Mood: cynical | | Thursday, December 29th, 2005 | | 4:02 am |
Woooo tests.
| Greed: | High
| | | Gluttony: | High
| | | Wrath: | Very High
| | | Sloth: | Very High
| | | Envy: | High
| | | Lust: | Very High
| | | Pride: | High
| |
Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quizyeah as if you expected anything else... Current Mood: cynical | | Sunday, December 25th, 2005 | | 10:59 am |
Merry Christmas you dirty ho ho hos. Current Mood: cynical | | Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005 | | 11:33 am |
Mr. T Facts
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood. Why does Mr. T wear still have his mohawk? Cause his reflection pities the fool who don't! Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. Mr. T remains the only bad ass in American history to sucessfully fire 15,000 rounds out of a gun and hit no one. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it. In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survived ad soldiers of fortune, until Mr. T found them and beat them to death with his bare hands. Revolving doors were invented to keep Mr. T from kicking them in all the time. Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in the hand of Mr.T is a deadly weapon in 17 states. Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T. Mr. T's hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates. Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him. The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history. Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain. Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters. Mr. T is not really black, film is just too scared of him to fully expose itself. Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him. There are now over 43 fools born every minute in order to keep up with the rate at which Mr. T pities them. Mr. T was originally cast to play Arnold Jackson on Diff'rent Strokes. Unfortunately every time he said, "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Willis shit himself. Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode. Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang. Mr. T doesn't obey the second law of thermodynamics. It obeys him. When Mr. T cuts onions, it's the onions doing the crying. Mr. T went through 257 Sylvester Stallone stunt doubles during the taping of "Rocky III". Mr. T survived a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris. He was the first and only one to do so. If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun. Current Mood: cynical | | 11:26 am |
Vin Diesel Facts
When Vin Diesel drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny. If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives." There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live. Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down. There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team. When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with. Vin Diesel was scheduled to be Stalone's stunt double in Rambo, but he was replaced after refusing to wearing a parachute when jumping from the plane. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself. Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence. Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors. Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas. Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill. Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear. When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead. Vin Diesel doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another. Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response. Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital. In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face. Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit. Vin Diesel once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it. You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children. Vin Diesel can divide by zero. On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage. Current Mood: cynical | | Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005 | | 5:23 pm |
I <3 stories
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Current Mood: cynical | | Sunday, November 13th, 2005 | | 4:23 am |
Yeah Poser Time
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. When you're finished, post these instructions on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you. Do it!!! Current Mood: cynical | | Sunday, September 11th, 2005 | | 3:40 am |
| | Saturday, September 3rd, 2005 | | 3:16 am |
| | Thursday, August 11th, 2005 | | 1:53 pm |
So I slept till 5:30 in the PM yesterday. Comment. Current Mood: cynical |
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